(any reader out there, this post will be a rather childish one talking about friendship like primary school kids, skip if you wouldn't like to read
Posting it because Yesh! I am still holding on to all relationships as tightly as I ever did)
Phew!
I guess I understand myself well enough?
Never matured enough to be in an intimate relationship..
Why?
Because I can't even handle a simple friendship?
Let's name this friend Edmond, haha.
I know this guy since form 1, and has somehow tuned him from a person who used minor vulgar, to a person who never use it (at least in front of me).
Considering his duty in school, I think that helps a little? Hmm?
Wasn't close with him in f2 and 3 because smth happened which I can't remember??
Got closer again in f4, and super close in f5.
In f5, we SMS each other almost every day, chatting happily with uncountable stories.
Didn't really have time to chat in school, so SMS was to really chat.
I find it rather comfortable to chat with you that way, but wonder if you actually do?
Was quite sure that you felt the same until that day I got to know that you r replies were immediate last year because of a different reason. So hmmm??? I wonder?
Anyway, less SMS this year because we spend more time together?
But to me, we don't seem to chat that happily anymore?
Haha, why do I sound like a person who is SMS deprived? I don't know?
Just feel that the way things are working out isn't as nice? Hmmm?
Hati terasa when I smsed you and not receiving your reply, but seeing you being active in Facebook at the same time. So again, hmm? What makes the difference? Another change which I don't really like?
Last year your access to the net was limited by your mum, but not anymore this year, so that changes the way you communicate?
But hmm? I don't know..
It doesn't seem that we communicate much via the net?
Another change is when I somehow realize that hmm? We don't have the same priority in schoolwork.
To me, schoolwork always comes the first to a student.
But hmm? It seems that you put dota in front of homework?
It isn't the kind of person whom I look up to?
Nor was it the you last year..
Able to squeeze time for dota, but not homework?
Anyway, super aware that all these are none of my business,
But possibly the side effect of being a babysitter in the board of librarians, I just hope people around me go according to the orthodox way of a good boy?
So when I see things changing, didn't feel that nice in my heart?
I know I know, I should just blind fold myself and shut up!
I tried, but it isn't working much.
I know you are still scoring the best, but still to me, schoolwork is still our fundamental responsibility..
Guess I know about all these changes because I know your general routine ?
And hence was thinking if we talk less, I might notice less changes in you?
But hmm? Is that what friends are supposed to do?
But hmm? If I know less changes, wouldn't it be better?
Why am being so obsessive over a friend who is a guy? I wonder? I think it is his bad luck?
Trying to ignore things which I dislike, but oh pleassseee.
Morons like me who takes everything seriously at all times, just can't shut his eyes on even the simplest matter..
So hmm? Anyone has any aid?
To be continued... (this would be a long long post)
P.S: found myself using 'hmm' at many times.. Does that show that i am being rather unsure about many questions, is it time to ask?
If anyone can just give me a medicine to care less and just ignore issues.. DO TELL!!
aunchian
